KOSCIUSKO —
You haven't lived until you encounter a snake before your morning coffee. I sometimes think I should be a little more careful of what I write about. For example, the article about my “snake bit” turkey season jinxed me I believe.
I had gotten up late because I had to work the previous night and as I was fixing myself a cup of coffee, I looked out the window and was eyeball to eyeball with a snake. Now, I know that some people think that snakes have a place in this world but I can't stand them. I am not really afraid of them nor do I have a phobia, I just don't want them anywhere around me, my house, yard or my back 40; nowhere. One of us was going to have to leave, and it was going to be the legless one.
I grabbed my .22 pistol and a stick and charged around the house in my flip-flops. Even in my before coffee fog, I did remember an armadillo or an opossum I had killed in this same area of the house. During that ordeal I had shot a hole in my water line.
With all of this in mind I began the battle with this five-foot snake. I grabbed him by the tail quickly and slung him away from the house and water line in an attempt to make the dispatching of this reptile easier. This went on two or three times with the snake rapidly gaining ground in an attempt to crawl under my house.
This was only going to happen over my dead body. I was bigger and I was going to win this fight or else. I have got to give him credit, he was putting up a good fight and was gaining ground every time. He was almost to the safety of the crawl space of my house when I got desperate and started stomping him with my flip-flops.
That is when he got desperate and bit me twice on my ankle. I was stomping so hard that the magazine from my pistol fell out of the weapon.
With blood leaking from my wounds, I finally saw a shovel close by and ended the battle. My next question was whether or not the serpent was poisonous. I was pretty sure it was a chicken snake and a thorough investigation of the carcass eased my troubled mind. Even still, a non-venomous snakebite can cause infections because their main diet is mice.
I quickly doctored my wounds with alcohol and peroxide and finally got that cup of coffee.
After this ordeal, it got me to thinking about the many blessings I have. It is real easy to hone in on your “snake bites” and bad luck in life as they tend to stick in your crawl and are hard to swallow, but good luck is pleasant and we don't always let it outshine the bad. I have been lucky enough to hunt and fish from Virginia to California and in South America as well.
I have never had a high paying job that would allow me to take trips to these exotic places, but with my Dad being in the Air Force for twenty years and me being in the Marines for four years certain jobs I’ve had, I have been given ample travel opportunities. I have been blessed to take advantage of some beautiful places. I took my wife to a cabin on the Tennessee River that belonged to my brother-in-law and we fished on our honeymoon. She knew what she was getting into and since then some our latest anniversaries have been spent on some guided fishing trips.
I have taken some of my best deer right here on my little twenty-acre piece of heaven and I have a small pond out back that we can catch a mess of catfish, bream or bass out of almost any time. My wife called it the money hole while it was being built but now we call her the catfish queen because she ain’t afraid to wet a line. Just one smile from those grandchildren catching a big fish has no price and made all the effort and money spent well worth it.
So the moral of this story is - Don't stomp a snake with your flip-flops on and count your blessings - I bet they outweigh your woes.
On the Porch with Dirk is a recurring article written by Dirk Thayer, an avid outdoorsman and storyteller.
Sports
On the Porch with Dirk
Count your blessings
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To the wire, Kosy defeats Braves
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