By Stan Beall
The Star Herald
Playing in the yard is one thing, but playing in the house––well, that is something else entirely.
Why should you quit playing when it's dark out?
Bring it on in; let's tear something up in the house.
Living room football includes diving catches on the couch and cool carpet burns on your elbows and knees.
Trick shots into the kitchen garbage can with balled up socks while mama's not looking offer excellent entertainment as well when it's too dark for hoops outside. As long as you catch everything thrown at you, there's usually not a problem until whatnots come up missing and pictures mysteriously line the floor of the hallway, which is an excellent place to run a short post route.
Baseball is also a sport that can be played indoors, but it usually turns into a game of burn out with the pitcher throwing a balled up sock and a hitter swinging one of those small novelty wooden bats.
As long as the hitter hangs on to the bat, all is usually well, unless of course he makes contact with the sock ball sending a line drive into the kitchen knocking over that half full cup of water sitting on the counter top.
Quick action can usually avoid any negative contact with mama at this point, unless she heard the commotion and makes a beeline to your location.
This is not a good thing and it usually results in a quick final for the contest and a good scolding.
Living room athletic events are quite challenging and can be quite rewarding. There is some extreme risk involved with the possibility of destroying your home's interior and the wrath of mama.
Quick hand drills with short crisp passes through the dining room, and fastball/off-speed pitch recognition in a good game of burn out is invaluable to the success of an athlete when games head outside.
These are not games that I quit playing when I became a "mature" husband and father––they continue to this day because the good Lord blessed me with three sons who "need" the extra work on their skills.
I do this out of my duty as a father––my boys need it, it's solely done out of my love for them and not for my entertainment, at all.
I'm basically just a victim to these activities because I cannot resist "helping" my son's improve their skills, and the risks we take only tend to make the activity more rewarding, due to the fact that skills are being tested and made precise. So, the next time it's too dark outside bring it in, but don't tell mama and make sure you catch the ball.
Editors note: When “mama” is referred to, this could be any mother, not necessarily my wife or mother; just in case something is discovered broken in my childhood home or at my current residence. Anything of that nature would be purely coincidental. This story may or may not directly reflect my own experiences from my youth and “pending” adulthood.